How Do I Want to Feel Today?

Over the last month, I’ve been asking myself a different question as I go through the days of semi-retirement.

During a recent therapy session, as we were exploring my tendency as an overachiever to constantly strive and do, my psychologist suggested a simple shift. Instead of asking, “What do I want to do today?”, they encouraged me to ask: “How do I want to feel today?”

It is a quiet transition from doing to being.

Finding Meaning Outside of Work

I am diversifying my life by figuring out where else I find meaning and purpose outside of work. Part of this experiment comes from realising that I don’t want most of my identity to rest on being a doctor. I’m mindful that work is only a small part of life.

When we were in a break-out session at Tribe FI one of the facilitators asked me a question that really made me pause:

“Given all the effort you’ve invested to become a doctor, is it harder to walk away?”

The honest answer is yes.

I view my work as a general practitioner as a calling. I get to make a genuine, positive difference in the lives of vulnerable people. My current role in a community health organisation is enjoyable, challenging and rewarding work.

On my death bed, I know I will not be wishing I had worked more. So, I am intentionally choosing to work less now, and make space for life.

Over the past few months, I’ve been trying out a few new rhythms to engage with my local community: taking part in a singing group, attending a yoga class, attending church regularly, and volunteering at my local parkrun.

I’ve also continued learning Spanish, and I’ve picked the guitar back up. Both will be lifelong learning processes. I am so glad that when I purchased the guitar learning courses back in 2019, it was a flat fee of around $150 for lifetime access. Now, the same courses are only accessible through an annual or monthly subscription.

Collecting Moments

How do I want to feel today? To put this into practice, I began journaling about the feelings I want to feel as I go about my days and taking notice of the moments.

Alive

I felt alive when I walked in the rain with the wind in my face.

I felt alive when the cold sea water seeped through my wetsuit on a surf.

Connected

I felt connected when The Handsome Surfer and I shared a morning cuddle on Tuesday before the start of the day.

I felt connected when we caught up with friends for dinner a fortnight ago on the weekend.

I felt connected when we chatted over coffee after yoga on Thursday with women I hardly knew a few weeks ago.

Joyful

I felt joyful when I noticed that I had been humming and singing as I showered.

I felt joyful when I noticed a bird as I walked and a verse came to mind that reminded me the Creator of the universe cares so intimately for me.

Generous

I felt generous when I volunteered my time at the local parkrun and got to cheer the runners along.

I felt generous when I gave my sister some money so she could enjoy some adventures on her travels.

Adventurous 

I felt adventurous when I woke up early so I could walk in the moonlight and watch my surroundings as daylight began.

I felt adventurous when I ordered a chai latte instead of a flat white. Now I am on a journey to find which café in town has the best chai latte.

Creative

I felt creative when I made a creamy Tuscan prawn dish. It is now on our meal list repertoire.

I felt creative when I jammed along to a music track on my guitar.

Rested

I felt rested when I lay on the yoga mat during post-class meditation.

I felt rested when I devoured a book and lost all sense of time.

Playful

I felt playful when I danced like no one was watching and sang along to my curated playlist of favourites.

I felt playful when I sat on a bench near a wetland, watched the bird life, and made a running commentary in my mind.

Helpful

I felt helpful when I gave some tourists a recommendation for a local gem they hadn’t heard of.

I felt helpful when I helped pack up at parkrun.

Buying Margin for Presence

Financial Independence is often talked about as having enough money to stop working. But I am realising it is about something simpler: money buys the margin to feel present.

It buys the time to choose how we spend our days, and who we become when we aren’t defined by a job title or a busy schedule.

When most people think of retirement, they think of the things they are going to do on some distant date. The goal is to build a life right now that regularly leaves you feeling how you want to feel: alive, connected, joyful, generous, adventurous, creative, rested, playful and helpful.

Whether you are working, semi-retired, or fully retired you can explore: How do I want to feel today? Take notice of those small moments that bring about those feelings.